Your life starts changing when you understand pain and what it brings after going through the process that God wants to bring you through. Does it mean its not hard anymore? i dont think so. But i guess the difference is our focus and it really helps us to endure and move further than what we normally can push ourselves.
Jeremiah 17:9 - “The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?
I think this verse is really making alot of sense as God begin to reveal what is in our hearts and what we think about each day. Often we get angry, disappointed, disgusted at what even our loved ones do and it really shocks me that when i look back seeing the thoughts i have towards them. God is indeed one who searches the deep things in our hearts and still He chooses to forgive us and love us. This love. Indeed it takes a lifetime to understand and to be embraced by it.
Something that is rather close to my heart nowadays is about resisting the Holy Spirit in my life. I felt that there are times where God stirred my heart to probably do this or that but because of fears/anxieties/self pity i find myself rejecting what God is trying to do through me and it often brings a sense of guilt and remorse after disobeying what God has placed in my heart. Surrender has become selective and songs can only remain as songs. There is just no more initmacy and trust that i can render to God and promises are no longer personal and what they are meant for.
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