Memories

Today i was just browsing facebook. I saw the conversation between me and her. I know its wrong to keep dwelling in the past but i just felt there was something unsettled still, left deep in the past. I tried to forget/ignore the past that once happened and move on but unfortunately it kept hunting me till i remember every moment that i ever had with her.

I just want to say..

I was irresponsible
I was a liar
I hurt her till it left a scar in her life
I used her because i was lonely
I promised that i would be with her and leave church.
I took her first kiss
I left her
I stopped all forms of communication with her
I made her cry so bad
I just left her.
Just like that.

God. I can't believe how you still can love someone like me. I can't believe i played with relationships and handled it so carelessly. This was what i sowed. I struggled to let her go but I'm glad i did. And all i could do is to hope that the love of God can still come into her life despite myself being such a failure. God, thank you for your grace. Thank you for sending kenny to lead me back to you and to put a stop to this relationship. I believed that i have hurt her so badly. But because now, you still gave me a second chance to serve you, to love you, to be loved by you, to allow you to be my personal Lord and Savior again, help me Lord. Don't let me disobey you again. It hurts ALOT to walk away from you. Please come and heal the both of us. My desire is that she will know you. That one day we can be in your family. This is my prayer to you. Jesus, i want to remember your grace that you have for me. Thank you Father. In the loving name of Jesus i pray. Amen.