Recently i've been thinking and looking at different people. Smart, stupid, interesting, irritating, noisy, lovely, timid people.
And i guess there is one thing we all seek after. That is putting our trust and hope into something. and name it our security.
Some people found it in their friends, money, life partners, abilities, something to be addicted on?, music etc.
And i realized that all these things do fail us at some point of our lives. But yet, sometimes we desperately want to just find a bit more comfort in those things that perish and cannot satisfy us.
God, take away the things in which we use to have so much confidence in and making it our security. Let us know that we are valuable no matter what.Thank you for being so committed to us in your own loving ways.
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Faithful God
Its finally July! so excited for SIM, so excited for army to end, so excited knowing more about Jesus, so excited to sing, so excited to just love people and recognize that nothing that i own on this earth really matters that much. well, im not a saint but i guess when each of us touched by God's compassion do feel that we can do something REAL for Him.
1 Corinthians 9:27 - No, I train my body and bring it under control. Then after I have preached to others, I myself will not break the rules and fail to win the prize.
Proverbs 3 : 12 - because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.
God, have mercy on me. Teach me and humble my heart to learn of your ways. Let me know you more each day. Let me know who is she also. Thank you for being SO FAITHFUL IN MY LIFE.
In Jesus Name i pray.
Amen
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Memories
Today i was just browsing facebook. I saw the conversation between me and her. I know its wrong to keep dwelling in the past but i just felt there was something unsettled still, left deep in the past. I tried to forget/ignore the past that once happened and move on but unfortunately it kept hunting me till i remember every moment that i ever had with her.
I just want to say..
I was irresponsible
I was a liar
I hurt her till it left a scar in her life
I used her because i was lonely
I promised that i would be with her and leave church.
I took her first kiss
I left her
I stopped all forms of communication with her
I made her cry so bad
I just left her.
Just like that.
God. I can't believe how you still can love someone like me. I can't believe i played with relationships and handled it so carelessly. This was what i sowed. I struggled to let her go but I'm glad i did. And all i could do is to hope that the love of God can still come into her life despite myself being such a failure. God, thank you for your grace. Thank you for sending kenny to lead me back to you and to put a stop to this relationship. I believed that i have hurt her so badly. But because now, you still gave me a second chance to serve you, to love you, to be loved by you, to allow you to be my personal Lord and Savior again, help me Lord. Don't let me disobey you again. It hurts ALOT to walk away from you. Please come and heal the both of us. My desire is that she will know you. That one day we can be in your family. This is my prayer to you. Jesus, i want to remember your grace that you have for me. Thank you Father. In the loving name of Jesus i pray. Amen.
I just want to say..
I was irresponsible
I was a liar
I hurt her till it left a scar in her life
I used her because i was lonely
I promised that i would be with her and leave church.
I took her first kiss
I left her
I stopped all forms of communication with her
I made her cry so bad
I just left her.
Just like that.
God. I can't believe how you still can love someone like me. I can't believe i played with relationships and handled it so carelessly. This was what i sowed. I struggled to let her go but I'm glad i did. And all i could do is to hope that the love of God can still come into her life despite myself being such a failure. God, thank you for your grace. Thank you for sending kenny to lead me back to you and to put a stop to this relationship. I believed that i have hurt her so badly. But because now, you still gave me a second chance to serve you, to love you, to be loved by you, to allow you to be my personal Lord and Savior again, help me Lord. Don't let me disobey you again. It hurts ALOT to walk away from you. Please come and heal the both of us. My desire is that she will know you. That one day we can be in your family. This is my prayer to you. Jesus, i want to remember your grace that you have for me. Thank you Father. In the loving name of Jesus i pray. Amen.
Friday, May 4, 2012
Life
Life has been good.
First thing first, just went for my ORD talk today at nee soon camp! Looking back at the excited/familiar faces didn't really helped me to accept all these happened a year ago. Time really flies and as much as i look forward to the end of serving my national service, i kinda miss those times where life is so much more dependent on God. Times where there may be lots of free time in camp and its just you and God. Less of technology, facebook, Tchoukball etc.
I miss those times when i will listen to my MP3 at my tekong bed and just want to spend time with God after a long day of training. Those time were precious, more than what any peer group/loved ones could provide. Well, at that point of time i guess i did rely on her and what i could get out of her. Be it attention, physical touch, encouragement etc. Sometimes i wonder if there wasn't her in my life how would i have survived my army days. Would i be so much closer to God? Or is it that i would have run into the world and may have already left church?
After remembering those good old days, i concluded that God is still faithful in my life. Bringing me from memorable experiences of being a medic to the recruit life of Tekong.
God, i just wanna thank you for all the things you have done in my life. From forgiving me, loving me, giving me a second chance, your peace that you leave with me, people that you place around me, i guess without you. I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHERE I WILL BE TODAY.
On the lighter side of life, i have already applied for my further studies. SIM UOL in Economics and Finance. According to victoria, that is what she has studied and she dropped out of that course(cause its like simply too hard) and she encourages that i do not go into that course unless God is leading me to that place. To be honest, i myself also has doubts if i can do well in that course that i felt God is wanting me to study. I mean for my poly i didn't really take time and ask God if this was what that he wanted me to do and thus getting into my first choice, i just went ahead and survived 3 years of it.
But now its different. I told my parents that i was sure of what i wanted to study although i didn't know what kind of work i would want to consider after having the degree. God, its like something that i will have to pick up and that would require a huge amount of effort to compete with those who had econ background. God, this time i wanna trust in you. If i have heard wrongly please lead me in the way that is everlasting. i tired of hearing and not able to do what your heart desires. Empower your kid alright? =D
Today as i was just finishing up 2 Samuel, i read in the part where God gives 3 options to David regarding how God should punish David for his sins. Famine, Pursued by enemy or plague. Firstly, i certainly did not even know that God gives people option to choose how they would want to be punished. Secondly i was quite amazed by what David replied. This was how it goes, 2 Samuel 24:14 - "David said to Gad, "I am in deep distress. Let us fall into the hands of the Lord, for his mercy is great; but do not let me fall into the hands of men."
To me, David knew God's mercy although he has sinned against God and choose to still run into God's arm even if it meant plague to his kingdom. He knew the character of God doesn't change even when he walked away from God. I pray that i will remember this in the times when i'm not walking with God and would still choose to run to Him all the time.
Lastly, God, are there also like 3 options for life partners? LOL. i mean just curious la. but God, my prayer is that if its not your intention. Please don't give it to me. That's my sincere request. =)
First thing first, just went for my ORD talk today at nee soon camp! Looking back at the excited/familiar faces didn't really helped me to accept all these happened a year ago. Time really flies and as much as i look forward to the end of serving my national service, i kinda miss those times where life is so much more dependent on God. Times where there may be lots of free time in camp and its just you and God. Less of technology, facebook, Tchoukball etc.
I miss those times when i will listen to my MP3 at my tekong bed and just want to spend time with God after a long day of training. Those time were precious, more than what any peer group/loved ones could provide. Well, at that point of time i guess i did rely on her and what i could get out of her. Be it attention, physical touch, encouragement etc. Sometimes i wonder if there wasn't her in my life how would i have survived my army days. Would i be so much closer to God? Or is it that i would have run into the world and may have already left church?
After remembering those good old days, i concluded that God is still faithful in my life. Bringing me from memorable experiences of being a medic to the recruit life of Tekong.
God, i just wanna thank you for all the things you have done in my life. From forgiving me, loving me, giving me a second chance, your peace that you leave with me, people that you place around me, i guess without you. I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHERE I WILL BE TODAY.
On the lighter side of life, i have already applied for my further studies. SIM UOL in Economics and Finance. According to victoria, that is what she has studied and she dropped out of that course(cause its like simply too hard) and she encourages that i do not go into that course unless God is leading me to that place. To be honest, i myself also has doubts if i can do well in that course that i felt God is wanting me to study. I mean for my poly i didn't really take time and ask God if this was what that he wanted me to do and thus getting into my first choice, i just went ahead and survived 3 years of it.
But now its different. I told my parents that i was sure of what i wanted to study although i didn't know what kind of work i would want to consider after having the degree. God, its like something that i will have to pick up and that would require a huge amount of effort to compete with those who had econ background. God, this time i wanna trust in you. If i have heard wrongly please lead me in the way that is everlasting. i tired of hearing and not able to do what your heart desires. Empower your kid alright? =D
Today as i was just finishing up 2 Samuel, i read in the part where God gives 3 options to David regarding how God should punish David for his sins. Famine, Pursued by enemy or plague. Firstly, i certainly did not even know that God gives people option to choose how they would want to be punished. Secondly i was quite amazed by what David replied. This was how it goes, 2 Samuel 24:14 - "David said to Gad, "I am in deep distress. Let us fall into the hands of the Lord, for his mercy is great; but do not let me fall into the hands of men."
To me, David knew God's mercy although he has sinned against God and choose to still run into God's arm even if it meant plague to his kingdom. He knew the character of God doesn't change even when he walked away from God. I pray that i will remember this in the times when i'm not walking with God and would still choose to run to Him all the time.
Lastly, God, are there also like 3 options for life partners? LOL. i mean just curious la. but God, my prayer is that if its not your intention. Please don't give it to me. That's my sincere request. =)
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Random
have i really forgotten her? let her go? move on with life? Inner healing?
God, teach me how you want me to be. i'm confused. =X
Well, other than being confuse, i guess God is faithful and he speaks when we pray and seek him for answers. For a long time i felt that God is always wanting us to spend ALOT of time praying and seeking Him before He will answer and show us his plan for our life. like i mean when you pray for something he will just answer you like that meh? at least to me it wasn't ba. lol.
BUT guess what i asked God about.
Its related to relationship and i just felt God answered me straight away. 25.
You know that kind like once you finish your question and you have your answer that kind? Well, i think this is the first time i feel God is like interested to tell me stuff that is close to my heart. I mean recently i heard this phrase somewhere
Prayer is asking God to release those things that He has already prepared for you.
Interesting max right? as in having the faith to believe that he will hear when you pray in His Will and give it to you with no hesitation in His time.
Another thing is. this core grp thing. should i? God, what do you really want for me?
God, teach me how you want me to be. i'm confused. =X
Well, other than being confuse, i guess God is faithful and he speaks when we pray and seek him for answers. For a long time i felt that God is always wanting us to spend ALOT of time praying and seeking Him before He will answer and show us his plan for our life. like i mean when you pray for something he will just answer you like that meh? at least to me it wasn't ba. lol.
BUT guess what i asked God about.
Its related to relationship and i just felt God answered me straight away. 25.
You know that kind like once you finish your question and you have your answer that kind? Well, i think this is the first time i feel God is like interested to tell me stuff that is close to my heart. I mean recently i heard this phrase somewhere
Prayer is asking God to release those things that He has already prepared for you.
Interesting max right? as in having the faith to believe that he will hear when you pray in His Will and give it to you with no hesitation in His time.
Another thing is. this core grp thing. should i? God, what do you really want for me?
Friday, March 30, 2012
Once was lost, Now am found
Walking with God doesn't make you are more clean than any other sinners.
Not later, nor years to come even if you are obeying God in his ways.
Once you received your gift of salvation YOU ARE CLEAN.
FORGIVEN
LOVED.
Don't work to make your salvation more real. Just receive it. =D
Monday, March 26, 2012
Who are you?
I'm just wondering if is it normal that i ask God who is he everyday?
It seems like i can never know God enough.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Gift
I think at least tonight, i know that i can sleep in peace. believing that salvation is a gift from God. Thanks Father! love you deep deep. nights. If you got nothing much on can join me in my dreams. hahahahah.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Heart of a servant
Standing in awe of Your grace
setting my feet in Your ways
entering into Your presence
to behold You face to face
God of all heaven and earth
holding me in Your embrace
unfailing love that surrounds me
Oh God i stand amazed
my Jesus my Lord
You're the love of my life
wherever You go wanna be by Your side
no longer i but Christ living in me
serving You for all eternity
my eyes set on You
in this race that i run
no longer my ways let Your will be done
Make me a servant my heart's ever true
clinging to the cross i'll follow You
i'll follow You
setting my feet in Your ways
entering into Your presence
to behold You face to face
God of all heaven and earth
holding me in Your embrace
unfailing love that surrounds me
Oh God i stand amazed
my Jesus my Lord
You're the love of my life
wherever You go wanna be by Your side
no longer i but Christ living in me
serving You for all eternity
my eyes set on You
in this race that i run
no longer my ways let Your will be done
Make me a servant my heart's ever true
clinging to the cross i'll follow You
i'll follow You
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